The Potternator

ihavebigprongs @ 2007-07-19T00:19:00

2007-07-18T23:22:33Z

OH MY CREATOR OF ALL THINGS WILD AND WONDERFUL THEY HAVE A MOTHERFUPPING TANK.

ihavebigprongs @ 2007-05-21T21:40:00

2007-05-21T20:41:12Z

Lupin, when does term end this year?

Lily!

2007-02-20T00:55:23Z

Lily.

I’ve been thinking about this. A lot. And. Well. You know, a baby, a baby is such a big and wonderful thing, it’s a whole other life created from- well. Me I suppose. But not just me, you as well- how amazing would it be to have a tiny person who has your hair, my nose … your wit, my … wanking capability?

Sure we’re young, we’re barely of age- yet, the more I think about it the more I wonder if a baby is such a bad thing! By the time you’d have it we’d have left school anyway… we could get a little house- or- or move in with my mum. She’d love to help with them. I could get a job, or … you could? I wouldn’t mind being a stay at home daddy. I’d be a daddy! You’d be a mummy! You’d wear aprons and say things like ‘DON’T MAKE ME GET THE WOODEN SPOON’ and we’d fall out over whether or not the kid should eat pudding even though it’s set fire to the bathroom rug earlier that day.

We’d have this whole other chapter to our lives, something, which would keep us permanently together … and not just that, we’d be alive in this new person! They’d be us! Rolled into one! Like a gurgling, farting, grubby pastry!
I just- I guess I’m saying that I’d love to be a Daddy, us! Together! A parental team! We could be AMAZING… we could be-

BIRTHDAY BOY

2006-12-16T23:41:56Z

HELLO, IT'S MY BIRTHDAY.

I'M KINDA DRUNK.

ihavebigprongs @ 2006-12-13T21:41:00

2006-12-13T21:41:42Z

okay I just blacked out for like a MONTH there.

ATTN: THUGS

2006-10-22T22:02:28Z

Whoever thought it'd be hilarious to make a carbon copy of the Head Boy and have it cause rampage amongst my friends ... and my- my girl- ... my friend of girlness shall suffer my wrath. And believe me, this isn't just the usual James Potter wrath in which I set fire to your grannies but a full blown, authoritarian, face kicking, furniture rearranging, life demolishing smack down.

You have been warned!

I’m not scared of you!!

ihavebigprongs @ 2006-10-07T18:23:00

2006-10-07T18:36:16Z

Oi, Padfoot.
Never guess who's birthday we missed.

ihavebigprongs @ 2006-08-20T00:57:00

2006-08-19T23:58:56Z

Something unholy has happened

ihavebigprongs @ 2006-08-03T19:01:00

2006-08-03T18:12:02Z

AHHHHHHHHHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAH

DOREA BLACK-POTTER: 1
WALBURGA NIGELLUS-BLACK: 0

I LOVE MY MUM.

ihavebigprongs @ 2006-07-02T23:36:00

2006-07-02T22:39:20Z

So!
I’m at home at the minute, living up the sweet life of summer but doing absolutely nothing. I tried sunbathing but you know, that’s hard to do when there’s no sun and torrential rain.
My mum is… here … I can tell she’s reading this over my shoulder even though she says she respects my privacy- MUM. MUM I CAN SEE YOU READING THIS. DON’T WALK AWAY.
Mum say hi.

Just write on the page … right there.. NO THAT’S ANOTHER ENTRY.

MUM! THERE.

Hello! Is there anybody out there? … oh Jamie this is stupid.

MY MUM LADY AND GENTLEMEN.

ihavebigprongs @ 2006-06-24T23:23:00

2006-06-24T22:24:56Z

Crazy shit.

ihavebigprongs @ 2006-06-09T00:18:00

2006-06-08T23:19:58Z

Padfoot?

ihavebigprongs @ 2006-06-04T19:05:00

2006-06-04T18:07:52Z

So. I was strolling around the corridor flicking my lighter on and off and McGonagall pulled me into her office for ‘a wee chat’. I WAS THERE FOR TWO HOURS TALKING ABOUT MY FEELINGS. Then she talked about me having Pyromania bordering on Pyrophilia and I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE HELL THAT MEANS so I just nodded and made little agreeing noises which I think she thought was moaning because I have NEVER seen that woman freak the fuck out more than she did there. I laughed. Didn’t help matters.

But she give me a step plan timetable thing which is great if I wasn’t conditionally dyslexic. She says that every time I think about burning things I should project that energy into something else. I suggested I should ask Padfoot for help. She suggested I stop seeing Mr. Black as he’d drive anyone to homicide. I suggested she stop wearing tartan because is makes her back end look rather wide. She suggested I set fire to myself etc, etc.

Speaking of Mr. Black, Sirius, I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t try and start a fight with Evans at every possibly turn, it’s not exactly pleasant having my friends fight with each other and under normal circumstances I’d deck both of you in the face but a) I don’t hit girls b) I don’t hit family and c) I already hit Nott today and holy fucking shit my hand hurts.

ihavebigprongs @ 2006-05-14T00:55:00

2006-05-13T23:57:53Z

YEAH OKAY. SO WHATEVER.

I BURNED DOWN OUR ROOM. I'M FUCKING SORRY BUT I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO. EVANS AND I HADN'T FOUGHT IN LIKE TWO WEEKS AND THE WHOLE BASIS OF MY LIFE JUST LIKE COLLAPSED.

WHEN I GET DISTRESSED I BURN THINGS.

I BURN THINGS AND I HAVE ASTHMA ATTACKS.

WHATEVER. I COULD DO WORSE.

ihavebigprongs @ 2006-04-25T21:18:00

2006-04-25T20:24:06Z

Moony has hurt his foot.

Padfoot and I have been lifting him when he's in his pajamas or lesser states of undress and setting him in the middle of the Great Hall and running away.

I'm aiming for outside Hufflepuff Common Room next (you know what they say about Hufflepuffs) but he flails so bloody much. Honestly, Moony.

Gotta run, DT with McGoogles cause I set fire to a like 400 year old tapestry. It was an accident! I was aiming for Snape!

ihavebigprongs @ 2006-04-23T01:30:00

2006-04-23T00:44:26Z

This Voldemort dude is doing a brilliant job of being a complete pillock. Dad says he's recruiting people to try and wipe out muggleborns or some ungroovy shit, apparently you get a pointy hat and a tattoo if you join. Sounds a bit gay if you ask me. I could totally take him.

Anyway. Went home for Easter, was a lot of fun. Mum says hullo to everyone ... Sirius, Peter ... Evans, Remus. Especially Remus. She even brought you chocolate back from Belgium even though she got me nothing. Sadly I ate it, that's what you get for making my mum love you more than me.

ihavebigprongs @ 2006-03-12T19:05:00

2006-03-12T19:06:26Z

Marlene is a daemon in bed.

I mean, that lass can bounce. I don't even care she has her shoes on, it's a lot of fucking fun.

ihavebigprongs @ 2006-03-10T22:53:00

2006-03-10T23:01:38Z

THIS IS WHAT THE GRYFFINDOR COMMON ROOM LOOKS LIKE RIGHT NOW.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY REMUS JOHN LUPIN. I'M WEARING A TIGHT TOP JUST FOR YOU, YOU FAG.

ihavebigprongs @ 2006-03-07T18:02:00

2006-03-07T18:06:18Z

Sirius, я решил, что я должен говорить по-русски с Вами, поскольку Тетя Эмилия - русский, и Вы знаете, как она имела обыкновение вопить в нас, когда мы были моложе. Я действительно люблю Лилию, я действительно люблю ее ..., Вы думаете, что она любит меня? Вы думаете, пел ли я к ней, по-русски она любила бы меня также? Я люблю ее, так это горит, когда я мочусь.

ihavebigprongs @ 2006-03-05T00:41:00

2006-03-05T00:47:57Z

I haven't seen Snape on these things in ages ... nor Evans ... nor me for that fact but in all honesty all I've been doing is arsing about in school and getting detention ... OH and trying to seduce McGoggles. But she was having none of it, that sly fiesty scottish lass.

Sirius has given up masterbating for lent. But I have been hearing noises coming from behind his drawn curtains at night. I am suspicious, and when James Potter is suspicious he gets hungry, and you don't like me when I'm hungry because I have to eat things ... and that is ... yeah.
For Lent I have given up girls.

Sorry ladies, but this fine piece of ass is now off the market. You've only brought me pain and alcoholism. This must mean I'm gay.

I am so gay and I am off to do gay things. Well ... more gayish things. I'm already pretty gay in my behaviour anyway.

Ciao bitches.

ihavebigprongs @ 2006-02-05T14:41:00

2006-02-05T14:49:28Z

I have attempted to grow a 'fro ... but it failed rather dramatically has my hair goes down instead of out. I've been inconsolable for weeks, as my friends can testify. But I'm okay now, instead I am growing it ... so eventually I will be able to achieve a pony's tail which I believe is a popular hair style.

Remus is having his time of the month. So I am hiding in a secret location until he either a) eats chocolate b) has rather rough sexual intercourse.

Valentine's day is coming up.

ihavebigprongs @ 2006-01-07T00:41:00

2006-01-07T00:43:53Z

FLICH IS-

WHAT?! I ... I LOST THIS THING FOR LIKE TWO MINUTES ... I - .. WHAT?!

WHAT THE FUCK. GET OFF THESE FUCKING JOURNALS OR I'LL! I'LL!

~~HOLY SHIT THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO.~~

ihavebigprongs @ 2005-12-29T20:04:00

2005-12-29T20:11:38Z

So. Bored.

It should be illegal to be this bored.

I think I might grow an afro. Peter. I've always said you'd look good with an afro. You always ignore me. So I've taken it upon myself to grow one. PERHAPS with sideburns. Or a beard. I could so take Dumbledore and that excuse of facial hair.

By the way. Padfoot? When do you want me to plait your hair? I'm a very skilled plaiter. Don't waste my time, girlfriend.

ihavebigprongs @ 2005-12-25T22:58:00

2005-12-25T23:00:41Z

i'M NOt drunk. I'm not ... sriisu ... I'm not WOULD YOU STOP IT WITH THE fuck

MMMONNNY I MEAN AN ARSE OF MYSELF AGAEN AND I SENT THE PICTURE AND HEIT'SSOD BAD AND OH AHAHAHAH IT'S AWJDFKJ SJ

OH I'M NOT DRUNK REALJYY IM NOT. BIT I'M HIDING WITH A BOTTLE OF ALCOHOLM AND MY OWN EMBARARASSMENT.

ediited: EVANS.JUTS. GO AWAY.

OI

2005-12-24T23:54:13Z

CHRISTMAS PARTY IN THE GRYFFINDOR COMMON ROOM TOMORROW NIGHT.

SLYTHERINS AKA SNAPPLES NOT ALLOWED WITHIN THREE MILES OR THEY WILL BE SHOT ON SIGHT.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!